The Day the Gods Froze Washington

Washington D.C is under more than a foot of snow!  This is a crisis!  All of our government agency offices are closed!  The House and Senate haven’t met for days to craft or vote on new legislation!  America is going to grind to a halt!  We’re done for!  The entire country is going to shut down as chaos ensues without the presence of our leaders!

Oh, wait, everything’s fine…

Some are calling this storm a natural disaster, some the effects of man-made climate change (snicker) and others are calling it a big play-day in our nation’s capital.  Do you want to know what I call the D.C snow storm?  DIVINE INTERVENTION!

Talk about an answer to prayers!  With conservatives shouting at the top of our lungs for a government that doesn’t listen to do less, what a wonderful way and time for the gods to step in!  This is a divine act that did exactly what we wanted; it SHUT DOWN our nation’s capital for days!  The White House, the Capital, the Pentagon, the Departments of This, That and the Other, all closed.  Through this miraculous event, Conservatives are able to prove to the nation what we’ve been saying all along; that America can get along just fine without constant activity from the federal government.

Shashank Bengali of McClatchy Newspapers wrote this wonderful article on just how little, if even at all, America has been affected by the literal freezing of Washington politics.  Bengali writes that:

Far from Washington’s snowiest winter in more than a century, Social Security recipients are still getting their checks. Tax returns and Medicare claims are being processed without interruption at regional centers around the country. Constituents can still contact their members of Congress through district field offices, and military commanders in Afghanistan and Iraq are going about their duties, albeit with fewer interrupting e-mails and phone calls from the Pentagon , the White House and Capitol Hill .

Conservatives like me have been saying all along that what this country needs to get back on its feet is LESS government, not more.  Have we not been saying since day one that we’d get along just fine if Washington would just back off and let the free markets of America do their thing?  This event proves our point!  We’re fine!  Washington is frozen solid (consider even the metaphor in the WAY this happened!  The gods literally froze Washington!  How can this not be divine intervention? Sorry, off of religion now and back to the facts) yet America continues to operate, literally, as if nothing has happened.  There hasn’t been a single negative consequence felt in any part of the country!

In fact, some aspects of America are even BENIFITING!  Bengali writes that:

For military commanders in Iraq and Afghanistan , Washington is the turning point of what some call “the 8,000-mile long screwdriver,” the source of endless e-mails and videoconference calls from the halls of political power with ideas on how to conduct the wars — almost all of them unsolicited.

Even our men and women fighting oversees are being overburdened by too much government.  They often times have to wait for confirmations from bureaucrats across the Atlantic Ocean when someone on the ground with them, with a better assessment of the situation, could make the call and speed things along.  This is another in the long list of examples that local governments govern the best and should always be given the greater power.  Of course, the FAMILY should always have the ultimate power.

All of these things together beg one simple question: what are we paying you people for?  Now, I’m not saying that the federal government has no role to play at all in America.  It is a vitally important part of our nation’s wellbeing but the last century saw that entity, which was supposed to be vastly limited by our Constitution, grow to an outrageous size and get an even bigger head about itself.  Elected officials are supposed to be public servants, yet one term allows them to live like kings and queens for the rest of their days; and for what?  What exactly are they doing that requires them to spend almost all year in Washington D.C.?  As Bengali points out they’re at an, “…endless stream of luncheons, congressional hearings, press conferences and cocktail parties — the lifeblood of political Washington…”

Do we really need our elected officials engaging in this kind of behavior when they could be spending that time back in the states and districts they represent LISTENING to the people they’re supposed to be representing?  Would this not be a more useful application of their time?  President Obama slammed the Supreme Court for overturning the regulations on campaign spending saying that it would give great new power to the special interests.  Well, Mr. President, why don’t you have the men and women of Congress and the House go HOME when they’re not voting and be influenced by the voters that put them in office?

This event also shines an unmistakable light on wasteful spending. reports that, “the two blizzards [are] estimated to cost taxpayers about $100 million in lost productivity every day the federal government is closed.”  That’s $100million in salaries that seem to be doing the nation no good.  We OBVOIUSLY don’t need these offices open every day so why don’t we just open them when we need them?  Imagine what an extra $100million a day would do for decreasing our debt!

Now, I know some of you will call me heartless for wanting these people out of a job in a recession but hear me out.  Economics is based on the laws of supply and demand.  Those who hire have a demand and those who are willing to work are the supply.  For the demand to hire, it must first be able to pay ONLY what the job it looks to seek is worth to it.  In the case of government offices, WE are the demanders and those who fill the positions are the supply.  We fill these positions because we believe they are of great value to us.  This blizzard has proven to us that these offices are not as important as we thought they were.  Therefore, it would be in our best interest to scale them back or trim them completely, would it not?

I will personally be saying some prayers of thanks to my gods and goddesses tonight for stepping in and proving to America what we’ve been trying to tell people all along.  I want everyone who reads this to put a link to the Bengali article on their Facebook, MySpace, Twitter or whatever you use to get information out to as many people as possible.  This is a wonderful wakeup call that we need to send all across the country.


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